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Pulling snow into the pond

I’ve been thinking about the difference between dependency and relationship. I gave up sugar for exactly 10 months and then last week I ate a maple bacon donut. Several of them. If more people die in class 1 and class 2 water than classes 3 through 5 combined, what does that say about attention? We pulled up next to a lesbian couple at the campsite and because I was with a woman, I mentioned something about being queer right away. You have to be able to hear your own body in order to stop eating when you’ve had enough, especially because it may or may not coincide with clearing your own plate. I saw a hiker fall 30 feet on a scree slope the other day and I prayed out loud as I ran to him. When are we actually taking risks? After the fall, I wanted nothing more than a cell signal. Other than a shredded right side and torn shoulder, he was actually fine. Pain isn’t necessarily an emergency. Who was I trying to make safe?

Lisa Ciccarello at a reading in Portland: When I met my enemy I said – are you my master? How it never stopped her from climbing - my student, Isabel - walking down the mountain and quietly weeping. Now I think that poetry is just showing up and being alive. Parenting scares me because I don't know how to be that consistently vulnerable. When the hiker’s friend went away for a minute, and I touched his back as I was counting his respirations, that’s when he realized he could cry. The idea that every person I see was at one time a kid, a baby, even – now buying coffee, now removing their sunglasses, now barely missing my body when they walk by. Emily Kendal Frey: How can you love people without making them feel accused? If we all knew how to celebrate more than feel afraid, I would tell my family more about my life.

When we saw them traveling so closely together, R told me that whales can send signals from one continent to another based on depth, temperature, and salinity. Like so many folks, I’m totally addicted to Facebook. I’m also addicted to sugar. My father just filed for his 8th divorce. He and my mother’s father show affection the exact same way. Just because I gave up sex and romance for a while didn’t mean I wasn’t addicted to them. When I made R mad at me, I knew the window was opening. I’m addicted to email. We saw at least 10 whales in 24 hours. I’m tired of being an addict. I would always rather hike uphill than come back down. If I give up on my father, who will be the man I have to love in order to un-become? When I first gave up sugar, Frankie said she wasn’t surprised. She said I had always been good at giving up things. Because I love people in so many different places, this statement is always true: I’m lucky. It feels good. I miss a lot of people right now.

~ TC Tolbert, Assistant Director

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Make a secure online donation to Casa Libre through Network for Good
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10/18 Poetry as a Transformative Path:
a poetry workshop w/ Lisa M. Cole
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more workshops coming soon for the Fall & Spring...


Please Note: Casa Libre is closed for the month of August.

9/7 Lamplight Reading Series
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9/10 Edge Reading Series w/Roberto Bedoya, Julie Hampton, & Tyler Meier
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9/19 WIP Reading Series
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9/20 HeatWave Hands-On SunDone Workshop
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9/26 Stjukshon: An Indigenous Reading Series w/Adrian L. Jawort, Cinnamon Spear, Luella N. Brien, & Pumpkin Vyne Singers
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10/3 WIP Reading Series
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10/4 Heatwave: curated by Jill Lorenzini (a Manifest Your Dream Contest winning event)
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10/5 Lamplight Reading Series
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10/14 Trickhouse Live: An Integrative Arts and Performance Series
w/Justin Bigos, Erin Stalcup, Bojan Louis, & Sara Sams
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10/17 WIP Reading Series
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Trickhouse Live: An Integrative Arts and Performance Series
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