windows are not the same as mirrors
(but they can be)
Philip Seymour Hoffman died the other day. As you probably know, he was an actor and an addict, which are not necessarily synonyms. He’d been in recovery for 20 years; he had recently “gone back out” again. Even in academic research essays, I expect my students to use the personal pronoun “I.” I was afraid to watch Capote but I did it anyway. Just last week, I asked to get hit. Every body navigates two environments - the one that’s been given and the one that eventually gets built. In Elements of Architecture Pierre von Meiss says a window has only 3 design functions: to light, to offer a view, and to articulate the distinction between interior and exterior space.
It is exhausting, sometimes, to be surrounded by drunken college students. By high-rise dorms and neon. It is hard, sometimes, to tell the difference between sound and noise. So, I suppose, to be alive is to be creating in context. A collaboration. Casa Libre is both the building and the people. This is why we look at other bodies. Watch them, touch them. Something happens when we insist on separation. At a workshop I attended last month, Amanda said: our society overvalues wholeness. I don’t need to be whole.
After a reading I gave the other night in Denver, KT was asking me something about the next day and then she said, Wait, you can’t answer that question right now and I said, Yeah, I’m not really sober. It’s weird that I said that because what I meant was, I’m in love with who I was just becoming. And that’s different from, Look at me - I’m so great. Can a body be a mask and an opening? I would still get high if I could. I would start the day with Bailey’s and coffee and the warmest piece of German chocolate cake. Most days I wake up wanting to use sex to get love. I can’t tell if sobriety is this statement or its opposite: I’m not yet ready to disappear. Don’t make me leave this place.
By this time next week, our big party will be over. We will have danced, and eaten, applauded, and talked, laughed and (hopefully) done a few ridiculous, unexpected things. It is always a collaboration. Now that I’ve been exposed to compositional improvisation as a practice for art making, it’s hard for me not to see every interaction through that lens. This is actually my favorite time of the party – as we begin to show up. That moment when feelings that are real are being spent.
Alain de Botton points out that for Freud, the capacity to love anything attractive, however fragile it might be, was a hallmark of psychological health. de Botton also says that John Ruskin proposed that we seek two things of our buildings. We want them to shelter us. And we want them to speak to us – to speak to us of whatever we find important and need to be reminded of. Buildings. And bodies. And people. By this time next week, we will all be changed. KF wasn’t talking about any of this when she said: At the place where making matters. I want to live more like this.
~ TC Tolbert, Assistant Director
PS. We do hope you will collaborate with us on our 10 Year Anniversary Gala. Saturday, Feb 22 from 6-10pm at the YWCA (525 Bonita Ave, Tucson, 85745). It only happens once every 10 years!
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What's the Word?
3/21-3/23 Street Fair Beer Garden
beer, music, & pingpong
4/22 Earth Day Fundraiser at La Cocina
more info coming soon...
3/7 WIP UA MFA Reading Series
3/26 Edge Reading w/Michael Dauphinais, Teré Fowler-Chapman, & Sharon Suzuki-Martinez
3/28 WIP UA MFA Reading Series
4/6 Lamplight Reading Series
4/10 Manifest Your Dream Contest Deadline
4/11 WIP UA MFA Reading Series
4/12 Trickhouse Live
more info coming soon...
4/18 Curiosity Symposium on the topic: Invention
4/23 Trickhouse Live w/Sam Ace & Rachel Levitsky
5/6 Trickhouse Live w/D.R. Ransdell & Erec Toso
Trickhouse Live: An Integrative Arts and Performance Series